The Giant Clam

Drydocked in a Southern port,
The barmaid took my measure.
Threw away my mug of rum,
She offered me a treasure.

Took me to her secret cove,
Eagerly I stripped and dove,
And there below; by all that’s damned-
-‘Twas a giant clam

Every pirate loves a pearl,
It is the Queen of gems;
When the clam is willing
And the ocean lifts its hem.

Glistening with beauty
It is a perfect booty.
You’ll never find in Buckingham
-Such a giant clam

Came up for a breath to say,
That I was quite impressed-
She told me of pearl divers,
I could be the very best,

But she couldn’t tell just yet,
As I’d barely gotten wet.
I said, I’m going down, madam-
-For that giant clam

There’s nothing quite so precious
It is the gem of Queens
Such opalescent glory!
But the clam’s a guillotine

Sure I fear of Davy Jones
Still I’ll raise my skull and bones
And I’ll drink another dram-
-to her giant clam