Primal Pirate Prologues Part 1

In 1968, a group of American political revolutionaries called The White Panthers* , lived in a collective at 1510 & 1520 Hill St. Ann Arbor, MI.

Although they performed valuable civic services like bombing the regional office of the CIA, and spawning the MC5 and Iggy & the Stooges, they were harsh on the collective’s children; they forbade them to watch the corporate tool Bozo the Clown on the small black and white TV, forbade them eat the colorful and sugared cereals available to the general American Public, but instead fed them meagre portions of like, bulgar, forbade them from playing merrily in the realistic grenade crater they’d painstakingly dug in the front yard as a war protest, and administered other privations too numerous to mention.

One of the youngest, shanghaied members of this commune was the still-beardless Sugarbeard. And from him they took a treasured Story Album, because he’d driven them all insane with hundreds if not thousands of serial iterations of the Pirate Side with the turntable set on auto-return-and-repeat.

Wounds suffered in childhood swim deeply forever in the darkest fathoms of consciousness, dude

The Queen’s Revenge hereby restores this excellent if severely abridged version of Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island, Narrated by Sir Donald Wolfit, for the delectation of the arbiters of zeitgeist & in hopes of finding some kind of closure, like that’s even possible when thus traumatized by hippies

*”The White Panthers” was Huey P Newton’s Idea, but later they were “The Rainbow People’s Party” because maybe not Huey P Newton’s Best Idea

November 2 at Dreamland: POP UP PIRATES

 Head to the Dreamland Theater for a performance of live Pirate Rock!

The Queen’s Revenge will play an hour of PiRock(tm) starting at 8 PM- Doors at 7, Wednesday November 2!! A Pirate Raid of Original Pirate Tunes and maybe a Pirated cover song or 2 

..with a featured exhibition of selected Arrcane Arrt and Arrtifacts of Captain Sugarbeard. Paintings, prints, weapons, French waiters, skulls, coloring books and more!

Enjoy (root) BEER (butter) RUM & SCOTCH , (ginger) ALES!!!
Supplies and space are limited! 

The Pirate Manifesto: 5 Principles of Piracy.

  1. Pirates don’t recognize, respect or reflexively obey conferred authority.
    Except as it be deemed advantageous or at least equitable, Pirates will pay little attention to Kings, Queens, CEOs, Ghosts, Wizards, or Celebrities. Even the Captain of the ship serves only at the crew’s command, as the Captain that serves the adventure best.
  2. Pirates don’t recognize caste.
    The bigger the Pirate Fleet the better. Pirates don’t see race, gender, religion, hair color, hat size, or quantity of limbs: if you’ll join the crew and fight by our side, you’re welcome aboard.
  3. Pirates are refugees and renegades.
    Pirates are arbitrarily persecuted by a flotilla of adversaries. Pirates have been dispossessed and disowned by agents of the dominant paradigm, enraged by the Pirate’s natural rebellious instinct for self-preservation and self-determination. Pirates fight, against all odds, because they are odd.
  4. Pirates may have unconventional methods of acquiring the Booty they need to sustain and flourish.
    Pirates don’t see Theft as differing substantially from Business, in the midst of this conflagration of end-stage capitalism and imperialism. Until you’ve assured that they’re well-fed, happy and in safe harbor, what’s yours might be theirs.
  5. Pirates live and die by The Pirate Code.
    To be clear, is NOT to be clearly understood whether there is One Pirate Code, or as many Pirate Codes as there are Pirates, so be careful in dealings with Pirates: they don’t care about your conventions, expectations, or rules. They’re Pirates.

June 30,2022: LIVE PIRACY IN THE STREETS of Saline, MI

AR! Beware, ye Swabs. The Queen’s Revenge will ravage LIVE through Downtown Saline’s Salty Summer Sounds Event on Thursday June 30, 2022, From 7:00-900 PM.
ARR! The Queen’s Revenge features
The Dreaded Captain Sugarbeard on Vox
Cerulean Cholmondeley (pronounced: Chumley) Jäänsen on Gtr
Count Lowe Tyde on Drum
and The Honorable Justin Kase-O’Skurvy on Bass.
Or Something Like That.
ARRRR! Performing Original Pirate Rock on the stage in Downtown Saline- on Ann Arbor-Saline Road just North of Michigan Avenue, preceded by gorgeous Sea Shanties from Special Guest Mermaid Beam.

Here’s the Hook

I’ve a hook for a hand, it’s a dangerous part
But more dangerous still is the hook in my heart
She threw me a line and that’s all that it took
She caught and released me but left in the hook

The bait was so pretty, the lure was her lips
Snared in her fishnets and tossed from the ship
I’ve a hook for my hand, that’s a part that I lost
But the hook in my heart has a terrible cost

A hook for a hand is disarming and sharp
As my foes will attest with their horns and their harps,
But the hook in my heart is disaster and pain
It’s left me so wounded and mostly insane

If you reach for my hand it’s a cold piece of steel
It cannot caress you, there’s nothing it feels
If you reach for my heart? You’d best use a knife
A surgeon’s precision might just save my life

You choose to engage me? You’d best be on guard
I’m hardened, and calloused, and used to these scars
If I draw you in close on the point of my hook
Can you cut free this heart that another mistook?

Here’s the hook
It’s so much worse than it looks
And the secrets we keep
And the wounds are so deep
All the damage I took
And this terrible hook
And I’m bloody forsook
And here is the hook

The Siren’s Call

She hears her ocean call
It echoes in her shell-like ears
And she casts one more glance at me
And casts herself into the sea
She’s in Poseidon’s thrall
His rolling waves engulf the tears
She’s weeping as she sings to me
And pulls me down into the sea

She comes for me each night
Down on the lonely shore
One of Triton’s daughters
She tastes of salty water
She sings and I can’t fight
I can’t resist her anymore
The siren sings her pretty song
To me, tonight but not for long

Once in her arms I find in tentacles I am entwined
Sinking down, down below, to fathom where the dead men go
The Captain surrenders, the crew will all fall
One by one to the sound of the siren’s call

There’s seaweed in her hair
Her skin is cold and blue
She’s singing underwater
The song the devil taught her
For her, a mere affair,
I’ll be forever true
She’s all I want, complete
Her lips are cold and sweet

She drags me down so deep
To realms of the Leviathan
To dark forbidden mysteries
That lie in wait beneath the sea
And this is where I’ll sleep
far from any sight of land
With one long kiss goodnight
She slowly rises to the light.

I hope she doesn’t weep for me, it’s really not too deep for me
I’ve simply traded light and air for one night in her watery lair…
The Captain surrenders, the crew will all fall
One by one to the sound of the siren’s call