The Dirty Coin

I’ve had my share of wenches and I’ve had my fill of trulls
They’ve keelhauled me a thousand times; I’ve breached all of their hulls
There was Betty with no bloomers, there was Wendy with her whips
There was Sonja and her strange device and all of Liza’s lips,
But I never have been sullied
By the stirrings of my loins:
For the dirty is in money
And the shame is in the coin
And the Devil’s door is golden
And the money seals your fate
For the more that you are holding
Then the greater is the weight
And your judgement is appalling
If your pockets are lined well
For I’ll float while you are falling
To the lowest pits of Hell

I’ve been in Roman orgies and I’ve worn some lingerie
I’ve seen the games the Island Girls and Nordic Beauties play
They’ve spanked me on the buttocks, they’ve covered me in cream
They’ve tied me down and had their way and made me cry and scream,
But I never felt so filthy
As I do with all this gold
It is made of mud and murder
And it’s desperately cold


I have lost myself in silken thighs and bosoms deep as oceans
I’ve crawled through sewers, slums and swamps and all I wore was lotions
There was Hattie and her husband, there was Winnie and her wife
There was Jenny who was not a girl and all of that was life,
But I never have been tainted
As I am from these doubloons;
For the sickness is in money
And I wish I was immune


Published by captainsugarbeard

Pirate Vocalist, Rude Musician & Primary Pirate Poet/Lyricist for The Queen's Revenge, a band of Pirates. Born Nitro von Borax in Detroit, MI circa 1680.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: